A lesson in friendship

Neither you can make everyone happy nor you can save everyone every time, You are not God.

Thoughts in works..... 

A meeting that didn't happen - Milna jaise mile ajnabi !

As years pass by and i count every day that i have been away from you, it seems you are still with me somewhere deep inside. The connection i never thought will be so strong that it will make me cry every once in a while. No, this is not to say that i am a sad drunk lover now who can't handle someone going away but somewhere life misses you and i miss life...seems to me that it became synonymous with you and your smile. 

In my life i have this tendency of creating scenes, scenes that will happen or not happen some day somewhere. I still remember when we parted ways, i built a sequence in my mind when we will meet next. 

So here goes the scene...which i thought almost 7 years back.

One day, I will intentionally land in your city, call you under pretense that i have some work in city and would like to catch up with you if possible. You will say yes and we will setup some time. But the truth will be that  all i am doing in the city is to meet you, see your smile, hear your voice, talk to you looking at you. I will reach the coffee shop or similar setup before you. I have a song which will play when you enter the place. 

So, here goes the song.....

Tara tta ra tara tta
Tara tta rara
Tara tara
Jaise milein ajnabi
Hai meri duaa ke
Jab hum milein
To dekhe mere dost
Ek baar yoon hi
Jaise mile ajnabi

Hum phir se chalein
To phir se hanse
Main phir se udoon
Paaoon nayi khushi
Jaise mile ajnabi

To kyaa huaa gar
Faansle darmiyaan na
Pad gaye iska kya ghum
Thaam loon pichey se
Gar main tujhe
Tu mud ker mile
Phir ek hohum

Ttara tta ratara tta tara tta
Rararara tara tta
Jaise mile ajnabi

Jane kyoon juda raaste hue
Jaane kab mile hum tum phirr
Sooraj ke sahil se kirnon ki
Naavon mein nikli thi main
Dhoondne kho gayi

Ab to milo ajnabi
Ttara tta tara tta
Tara ttara tta tara tta
Jaise mile ajnabi

Dekhoon to chali
Hai hawaa nayi
Dil mein phir jo
Laavon diya kahin
Khwaabon ke jangal
Mein pedon ke shaakhon
Se patte samete
Main hoon khadi

Ab to milo ajnabi
Hai meri duaa ke jab hum mile
To dekhe mujhe mere dost
Ek baar yoon hi
Jaise milein ajnabi

Hum phirr se chale
Tu phirr se hanse
Main phirr se udoon
Paaoon nayi ek khushi
Jaise mile ajnabi
Jaise mile ajnabi, Jaise mile ajnabi. 

Eternally grateful to the God for bringing you to my life for whatever time It allocated. 

Ye kaisa ishq ka berehem kaanoon,

Kasoor dil ka aur saza aankhon ko kyun...

Being Brave….doesn’t come easy !

Being Brave….doesn’t come easy !

Life never runs out of stories, which inspire one to stay steadfast in tough situations, keep their smile on and weather the storm like a warrior.

Lucky as I am on and off in life, I had the golden chance to witness someone showing courage when everything in life seemed going the wrong way. From personal conflicts to professional downward curve to certain bankruptcy. It takes courage of 100 warriors to sail through the situation when you know that outside world will put the blame on you with rants of history repeats, something wrong with you only, how can it happen again, sudhar jaao.

So, how does someone get courage or has the courage inside them to stay tall and stay firm. I think it comes from just one source…..conviction in self, your self-belief. When you are convinced that you are right, you did your part, you tried hard and there is nothing more important than the self-respect. That’s when you know that you can sail through any storm that comes your way. Everything else will fall in place. People will forget (people do not matter…who gives shit about them anyway). Family and friends will always support you (at least if they feel they are family and friends). Life will give new opportunities, new directions, and new hope. When you are ready to embrace those and leave everything that shackled you….you know you are a life warrior. You will always be on right path. Either others will join your path or they will see you scampering away on a life journey, which they would always wish they witnessed.

I always believe that either you Live Life on your own terms or people will keep changing the term for you with lots of conditions with * mark hidden somewhere in obscurity.

And my dear…you have chosen…chosen to live by yours!

Will you never make a mistake again, will the life never test you again? I would be lying if I said no. It will test you again someday, some way … but even then, I will always know that you will sail through, sail through another storm and come out victorious on the other side.

So, live life your size, world with adjust accordingly!

Am i brave? That story will unfold some day. For now, i just feel inspired by such golden souls. 

My story is for me...to understand

Sometimes we are just too scared to share our lives, our life's stories, our life's ups and downs. If you are not, I am. I will gladly admit to anyone that i am too scared to share my life story. The story has so many situations, contexts, views that i don't think i will be able to do justice as a story teller, and most importantly, whether other person will be able to understand it.

I think the basic problem in telling the your story to someone is the fear of their interpretation of the story....or the interpretation of you.

The day i met her...again

Its been long since i met her last. While we exchanged a few texts, a call or two, it never happened we came face to face. One one of the many trips i made to her city always thinking about this moment, luck by chance (nothing happens by chance) the stars aligned and their she was and here i was in the same space, me at my worse...a shabby t-shirt, unshaven look, sweating. anxious....and she at her ever so best..fresh, fragrant, smiling, well dressed, shining bright as gold, ever so calm. My eyes were stuck on her like seeing her for the first time, heart falling for her all over again.
Many things i wanted to ask...do you still love me, do you know i love you, why didn't you call me, how are you so calm, i am sorry i let you down, i am sorry i couldn't break the constraints i live with, i am sorry i didn't live up to your dreams, but you know i was never a liar, i was never pretending...what i did was, i just loved you and love you and will always love you with all i have inside me. The best thing i ever did in my life was falling in love with you. My heart still smiles every time i think of you, every time i see a picture of you. A little touch of you made my heart beat faster than i could breathe. I wish i could do time travel and reverse the clock and live every one of those moments again, every minute of it, every second of it ....and may be add a few more moments....one is never too greedy when it comes to Love

Sometimes i wonder how i fell so deep in your love, how you gained so much space in my mind, how i lost my heart and soul to you.....i became you from inside...forever....

Phir ek din mallika-e-mohabbat se mulakaat hogi, mere pyaar ki ek baar phir aazmaaish hogi,
kabhi lage tumhe ki humein tumse pyar nahi, samajh lena mere khilaaf zamane ki saazish hogi,
bas ek baar dekh lena in aankhon mein, tujhe zindagi bhar dekhne aur chahne ki khwaahish hogi.

PS: Divine is love, Love is divine.

Bhool jaata par..

Bhool jaata par tu yaad bahut aata hai,

Kabhi hothon par hansi ban kar, 

kabhi aankhon mein nami ban kar,

kabhi dil mein ehsaas ban kar, 

Kabhi khwaabon mein mohabbat ban kar

Kabhi duaaon mein khuda ban kar,
Kabhi fizaaon mein hawa ban kar,

Bhool jaata par tu yaad bahut aata hai, yaad bahut aata hai.

tujhe bhoolna bhi teri yaad hi dohrata hai.

You and thoughts

Toot jaata hoon ye soch kar, kya kabhi yaad bhi kiya tune apna soch kar,

Rooth jaata hoon ye soch kar, saari zindagi tujhse judaai aur doori soch kar,

Dil ko samjhaaya maine ye soch kar, wo khush rahe mujhe apna raqeeb soch kar

Pyaar nahi kiya tha usey kuch soch kar, raastey badal hi jaane they thoda door chal kar

Ishq sulagta rahe zindagi bhar isi umeed par, kabhi yaad kare wo apna khoya pyaar soch kar
Mein muskurata raha hoon ye soch kar, wo udaas na ho jaaye meri aankhon ki nami dekh kar