Hotch-Potch Flight of thoughts

Hard to define what I am going to write but a hotch-potch of thoughts is tickling the mind. So many stories of life seem similar but each one has a uniqueness to it. Every pain and happiness in my heart has a unique reason, color n shades of vibrant as well as dead emotions.

Hotch-potch 1 - Sometimes an external thought can bring more clarity to life than your own wisdom and I have good amount of it to say the least (humble me!).  One day I came across a thought on FB (of all the places, can you believe it!!) which said sometimes we should walk away from the thoughts that depress us because we have no control on some things in life, walk away people that depress us because they have chosen a path of self-destruction despite the numerous warnings and hazard signs, walk away from anything that is disproportionately keeping your mind and heart occupied by its negative energy. Learn to say no to incoming negative energy. It helps to keep your heart and mind healthy and happy. It’s not fair to your heart and mind to bear others mistakes or misfortunes. Learn to put a hard STOP after a point. Helping someone is fine if they want to be helped but if someone just wants to scream that they are drowning and want help but still want to drown doesn’t deserve rescue beyond a rope and a tube. Don’t jump yourself as they may drown you before they themselves drown. Pray for their safety and wellness and move inside your own circle of life.

Hotch-potch 2 - Sometimes I feel my soul has been stolen and someone else resides under me. Whenever I close my eyes, I don’t see myself but the other one. It rattles me to the core but makes me feel happy, a wave of happiness and love with a sea of emotions all once and together start stirring me. Sometimes, the same feelings choke me and come out in the form of moistness from eyes. How can a thief enjoy such high attachment to my inner being leading to my own detachment from so many others? Not sure if I want my soul back but I surely don’t want to let go of the other in me. You moved everything and everyone from inside of me. A fool's foolish foolhardy.

“Jo shuru hi nahi hua usey khatam kaise karoon, aur jo khatam hi nahi hua usey bhool kaise jaaoon.”

Hotch-potch 3 - Who has more right on me…. Myself, whom I love, who love me, who have nothing to do with love but life has chosen me for him.

One's kids have a right cos it’s not his fault we called him or her to our life. But he needs a part of my life so that he can build his own before charting his own path. A child doesn’t know who, where, how, why….we know. We are his beacon.

Apart from that, no one but I have a right on my life. For every other relationship, we fulfil a need… physical, emotional, spiritual. My connection to you and your connection to me is a mutual agreement satisfying a common goal without any false or deceiving expectations. You shift the goal, you strain the connection.

Har dard, har pyar ki yehi kahaani hai,

Milne aur bichhadne ki yehi kahaani hai,

Flight is about to land and its time to finish this journey. So, till we write again.

Ik muskurahat zindagi khila deti hai, thoda khush raho yaar,

zindagi mein dhoop, chhaao aur barsaat aati jaati rehti hai.

It's always you !

When I look at you, I know an angel is inside you

When I talk to you, I know the fragrance of thousand flowers is from you

When I think of you, I get a smile cos of the joyful you

When I am almost asleep, a hug I feel I know it’s you

When I am sad or mad, I know the one to go to will be you

Someday when I am old, will smile cos in life’s good thoughts, there was always you…just you !

The mischievious truth

A: Do you emotionally get hurt when i am unhappy or you feel bad abt something when i deny you what you ask for
Do you share a emotional bond with me... wic mks u unhappy if I feel bd abt something. .

B: One day sooner or later when we part ways,  both will have their own journey to undertake. What will remain when we look back is what we built of the journey we had when road was same...i enjoy the journey as much as i can.. For i shall never think that there was ever a trip which didnt add value to the journey..

A; This dosen ans my question

B: Cos the question is wrong

A; N I don need ur diplomacy

B: But thats me then..u dont need me then

B: I have chosen to live life in a certain way n i live by that...


Physical, emotional n intellectual being the diff dimensions of life, people in life always serve certain dimension n add to your life experiences... Like i may be adding to your intellectual dimension of life..
We always connect to single or multiple dimensions with another soul...i always see what i can get...like other may see what they can..n when they both understand and accept each other's role,  the relation builds.


An imbalance or mismatch or fake portrayal only ends in accidents that leave bad taste in life. 

A lover's query - Will you forget me ?

When we are in love, we know only two things. Love and the person who we love. Everything else just fades away into a hazy background where realities of life live. No matter what you do, love will always be the only reality that stays with you.

Its a true blessing if you find love, then both of you experience love and finally live your whole life sharing the love day in day out. 

For most of the mortals, the third condition is usually where they falter - chance to share lives till death do us apart ! 

So, what happens when the love anecdote doesn't complete in a happily ever after. We usually are left with either a feeling of honest love with some pain and lots of memories OR we are left with a feeling of betrayal with lots of pain and "being used" memories. 

Cos in the end when we have to take separate roads, the question comes to "Will you forget me and was OUR love real?"

The answer in one of the my personal experience is "I can never forget you and love was a real as the air I need to breathe. You were the one flowing in me like a river of eternal beauty, bliss and charm."


The love was so real that it still keeps me awake.....still the thoughts of what he or she might be doing lingers every day every hour every minute. Finding out if their life still has you, in a little corner, somewhere gives you a larger sense of achievement and satisfaction. But then to save them the pain and agony you choose to display what you feel and always show a step taken further away, happiness in alternate way of life. 

Thou shall never doubt OUR love and WE shall never lose OUR love !

Leaving it here....my eyes getting moist.....the article looks and sounds incomplete....but then not everything has an ending or an perfect ending!

A rendezvous with dreams aboard L-express !

A magical journey of girl with dreams!

Seldom it happens that you meet people and they remind you of what you should be doing in life, what have you forgotten or put in sleep mode. A similar instance happened a few days back and I will try to roll back my memory to that moment. On board Rajdhani Express from Delhi to Mumbai, I had a side lower birth in coach A2, SEAT NO. 23…..I settled down on my seat and was trying to read a book which I thought I can easily finish. With still a few minutes to departure, the second passenger for the upper side berth (seat no. 24) arrived. Two ladies with some luggage, one left after making sure the first one is all good for her journey. I didn’t try to strike a eye contact with the girl as in India the moment you do that the other side gets cautious to the core…tried to keep it as harmless as it can…the lady was on phone initially explaining to some other intelligent soul the nitty-gritty of the RIGHT TO INFORMATION (RTI) queries. Oh boy that was some insight…proud of RTI Act,.

However, the journey had other things planned. With the train chugging along, we got into conversation and things became more comfortable. But then this was a start to some exciting details. The conversation went on and on….about things, about people, about social environment, about dreams…yes about dreams….the passion to achieve the dreams one always sees. She got into an accidental job while she was pursuing her job, which incidentally happens to 99% of us…we dream of something and then start on a path which doesn’t lead to achieving dreams but surviving in this world, may be collecting a few luxuries on the way.  We put the dreams in sleep mode and start fighting with this world and get into race for more money, more comfort, more kids (true Indian will)….

Here I am sitting in front of a person who belongs to balance 1%. A wheatish complexion girl with eyes of an angel and tongue unstoppable which is capable of miles of conversation in one breath. The enthusiasm in her voice, the fire in her eyes for her dreams was so evident that I felt as if someone is showing a mirror to me and saying see how dreams are achieved. Working passionately, with commitment and never to lose sight of the ultimate goal.  The world will always be full of distractions including relationships (theory of constraints) but those who keep going and pushing towards the end goal will reach there. The sacrifices shall be made, the risk shall be taken. We kept the conversation going from around 5 in the evening till 10-1030 in the night which might tell you that everything possible about the life was discussed and still I wanted more not because I was drowned into her starry eyes but how lit up her eyes were about her goals in life. Transfer some of your energy, passion and commitment in me to awaken the inner sleeping dream of mine…..as a little rub, a little touch, a spark, may lead to a fire inside me.  

Life will always put doubt in our mind when we wish to achieve our dreams and show us hundreds of reasons why we shouldn’t pursue, however the taste of final accomplishment shall be reason enough to go for your dreams. Its worth a shot or two or more to achieve your goals. The normal life can be on-boarded on any station in life, it won’t matter.

Will never forget the end of that journey, I am looking from outside the dark window and know you can’t see me…but left with a smile for a journey you stirred in my mind

Girl you are strong and might need to start alone
For not too many would walk along,
Win it with your focus and win it with your passion
For it may be worth every pain that’s on offer
I will be happy to see you there when you have won the war
A few battles, a few people may be lost but that’s part of God’s plan
When you tell me one day that you have achieved,  I will live on once more for my dreams
Even if you won’t succeed God forbid..hold you head high because not many often try….in this world it’s a far cry

 Couldn't finish he book i started with but still ended the journey so enriched ! life chugs along !

Update: She achieved her dream....arrived at ultimate destination. 

Constrained by constaints....life around us!

Life is nothing but a web that people create around us....we are always constrained by the people who will keep reminding us that we are constrained and chained by everything we know as emotions, as relationships. We are liable for all and we need to respect / tolerate everything and everyone.

The concept of free will I feel is limited to only strays these days.....

The situation is much worse for the grown ups as they are taught to take their own decisions and still everyone will keep telling them if he/she can or can't....the pros and cons of everything....grown ups always live a life of dilemma....oh what if...!!!!

How I wish we were free and my body is as free as the spirit inside me...the spirit can do and imagine whatever it wants...it lives the life body wishes for...

The physical body only gets to experience patches of life....once in a while...when people are not telling you what is right or wrong or may be when we stop telling ourselves what's right or wrong....everything becomes what it is...neither good nor bad...

When present is free of past or future....that's when we will be free really.... till then we will all be constrained by constraints....





 

Love happens only once - Not so sure??

As human being we all are prone this phenomenon called Love. Its available in diff flavors....mother-son, father-son, sibling-sibling, boyfriend-girlfriend, husband-wife combo, friend-friend combo, etc etc etc......each of the flavors have their own charm and sweetness to it. But what I am going to dwell more here is the heart-heart love.....difficult explanation to what it actually means...ask me if I have any structure to what I am writing, I will say no..have no clue at all...but then all these thoughts and real life stories keep bubbling in my head.

Someone asked me little while back if Love happens only once in lifetime. Can we find true love and if I get true love....is it possible that I can fall in true love again after a certain time, with a certain person, willingly or by heart's command? I told the person what I believe in. As human beings, God has given us a gift to keep falling in love time and again. We fall in love with personalities, faces, actions, reactions of someone. By nature, it is impossible to shut the doors because heart has none, its like a canvas on which diff colors can be painted using diff brushes, diff strokes, diff thoughts. Am I undermining the value of commitment in any relationship and justify broken commitments? No as per what I feel

I remember when a friend of mine first fell in love, it was with a girl in yellow dress, he searched for the girl for days, sat in her class, kept looking for her and when he found her, that was the best feeling he ever got. For three years, he kept looking at that girl and couldn't help but be in love with her even though he knew the feeling wasn't mutual. True love...yes it was, for him.

Life didn't stop here and love returned with reinforcements in his life, this time as a simple and young girl, simple and nice...to become one of his closest friends....nothing outstanding about her but still she stood out among all, to him she was like an angel and nothing less...the day would start and end with her. Sometimes moments in life stick to your mind and there he can see her today too....sitting in a white dress, right next to the canteen, waiting for him (let me take this liberty) and a extra weekend class to start....first time he ever cried when he knew she would leave his life...did she also fall in love with him..he doesn't know and I don't want to know.

As the time moved along, same friend fell in love with someone who he though was much beyond his level. A very beautiful, elegant and charming lady. She had a presence of her own where she was....everyone will pay their regards to her when she will come in, even if silently inside their heart....no eye could miss her. My friend stood no chance, not even the slightest of it....but then God had its own plans....the meetings happened and there they were hopeless in love with each other. Emotions overpowered all rational thinking, the heart always rejected any rational thought and mind just followed what heart said. That is the power of love...

So, when do we know the love is complete or love achieved what is set out to....when do we know that love is a true feeling and not just hormonal imbalance may be.....do we need to spend the lives together to mark the success of love.....do we need a name to be put against love for it to be any meaningful....

Do I have the answers, No. Look for your own answers, its not a guarantee that we will find the answers, but you will find love....doesn't matter how short, how long, where, with whom.....Love happens and just about happens to each one of us! Cherish the moments that love shares with you, for these moments just make the life so much worth it, so much worth living it !