Constrained by constaints....life around us!

Life is nothing but a web that people create around us....we are always constrained by the people who will keep reminding us that we are constrained and chained by everything we know as emotions, as relationships. We are liable for all and we need to respect / tolerate everything and everyone.

The concept of free will I feel is limited to only strays these days.....

The situation is much worse for the grown ups as they are taught to take their own decisions and still everyone will keep telling them if he/she can or can't....the pros and cons of everything....grown ups always live a life of dilemma....oh what if...!!!!

How I wish we were free and my body is as free as the spirit inside me...the spirit can do and imagine whatever it wants...it lives the life body wishes for...

The physical body only gets to experience patches of life....once in a while...when people are not telling you what is right or wrong or may be when we stop telling ourselves what's right or wrong....everything becomes what it is...neither good nor bad...

When present is free of past or future....that's when we will be free really.... till then we will all be constrained by constraints....





 

Love happens only once - Not so sure??

As human being we all are prone this phenomenon called Love. Its available in diff flavors....mother-son, father-son, sibling-sibling, boyfriend-girlfriend, husband-wife combo, friend-friend combo, etc etc etc......each of the flavors have their own charm and sweetness to it. But what I am going to dwell more here is the heart-heart love.....difficult explanation to what it actually means...ask me if I have any structure to what I am writing, I will say no..have no clue at all...but then all these thoughts and real life stories keep bubbling in my head.

Someone asked me little while back if Love happens only once in lifetime. Can we find true love and if I get true love....is it possible that I can fall in true love again after a certain time, with a certain person, willingly or by heart's command? I told the person what I believe in. As human beings, God has given us a gift to keep falling in love time and again. We fall in love with personalities, faces, actions, reactions of someone. By nature, it is impossible to shut the doors because heart has none, its like a canvas on which diff colors can be painted using diff brushes, diff strokes, diff thoughts. Am I undermining the value of commitment in any relationship and justify broken commitments? No as per what I feel

I remember when a friend of mine first fell in love, it was with a girl in yellow dress, he searched for the girl for days, sat in her class, kept looking for her and when he found her, that was the best feeling he ever got. For three years, he kept looking at that girl and couldn't help but be in love with her even though he knew the feeling wasn't mutual. True love...yes it was, for him.

Life didn't stop here and love returned with reinforcements in his life, this time as a simple and young girl, simple and nice...to become one of his closest friends....nothing outstanding about her but still she stood out among all, to him she was like an angel and nothing less...the day would start and end with her. Sometimes moments in life stick to your mind and there he can see her today too....sitting in a white dress, right next to the canteen, waiting for him (let me take this liberty) and a extra weekend class to start....first time he ever cried when he knew she would leave his life...did she also fall in love with him..he doesn't know and I don't want to know.

As the time moved along, same friend fell in love with someone who he though was much beyond his level. A very beautiful, elegant and charming lady. She had a presence of her own where she was....everyone will pay their regards to her when she will come in, even if silently inside their heart....no eye could miss her. My friend stood no chance, not even the slightest of it....but then God had its own plans....the meetings happened and there they were hopeless in love with each other. Emotions overpowered all rational thinking, the heart always rejected any rational thought and mind just followed what heart said. That is the power of love...

So, when do we know the love is complete or love achieved what is set out to....when do we know that love is a true feeling and not just hormonal imbalance may be.....do we need to spend the lives together to mark the success of love.....do we need a name to be put against love for it to be any meaningful....

Do I have the answers, No. Look for your own answers, its not a guarantee that we will find the answers, but you will find love....doesn't matter how short, how long, where, with whom.....Love happens and just about happens to each one of us! Cherish the moments that love shares with you, for these moments just make the life so much worth it, so much worth living it !

 

The next to best can only be better

Think of ferrari, buy audi
Think of audi, buy skoda
Think of skoda, buy dzire
Think of "best", settle for "better"

hearing a lot of it from so many people around...

That's how the life sums itself up for a large population with dreams of best thimgs to cling on but only "next to best" things to hang out with.

Last few days a tag line has caught my fancy and I cannot seem to get rid of it. Today, here I am thinking what the life means if it was always the "best thing". As a child we would dream to be pilot flying a fighter aircraft but settle for lot less, as a youngster we would want to be as starry as shahrukh but will settle for lot less, you will fall in love which will not be yours and settle with the next best thing. Riding in the office cab I ponder how life would have been if We always had the "best" with me. But the more I think of it, the more it becomes hazy. While I am thinking on it, the only thing that I think one always wants to be "best" in life was the "love. Its the emotional quotient that puts one at peace rather than the materialistic pleasures of life (dont mean to dilute the importance of material things). The idea of how "the next best thing" should have been the "best" crosses one's mind and somber his or her mood. The best moments with the best can never be forgotten. A click in mind will tell you that the best were the best thing that could have happened to one. The memories will always be engraved in the heart and cherished when you sit down (a glass of drink would not do bad) one fine day thinking of the good times that went by and all that we cared for. The next best thing aren't any less by any measure, just that they are being compared to the best.

We all had the best with us at one point or another and a lucky few relish the best for their life.
Owner's pride, neighbor's envy.....Cheers!

Disclaimer: None

V day is here again !

The most talked about day is just hours away. Like all years, love struck souls will be vying for superiority. Trying to impress the one they say or think they love, or may be really love.

I will try to narrate a anecdote depicting the thoughts a lover may go through...any resemblance to anyone's life may make this paragraph a true story....who knows !

There's a boy with a gift in hand, a nice fragrance wrapped with love. Bought a Elizabeth Arden "Unbound" thinking of his love in mind, now he feel the jitters what she will think of his find. She might get angry, she might be shy......he may be left wondering what's in her mind. Sometimes he think he shall keep the gift to himself, let it pass for the next time they meet somewhere.
Last time he gave her something, it took her a while before she accept, left him wondering if he ever forced it on her. God save him all this confusion as he may not be strong enough to solve the puzzle, he loves her and she loves him, cann't You make it that simple. Salute to those who have found the True love, he may not be the best at expressing but deep down he knows he loves her. Her presence makes it perfect, her smile does it all. One day not in so distant future she may move on choosing someone over him, that day my frind will be the saddest day bringing it all to an end.
Rest in Peace is all i should say.
With this my friend i take your leave, have some work to finish before my journey to Home begins !

Widen the circles !

This experience relates more to the professional part of my life. After recently moving to Jaipur to work as One man army in BCM, i met people who have recently been promoted to lead the team, nearly the same age group or may be +5 yrs...True to my nature, i cann't be all formal with anyone from office boy to the VP...for me everyone enjoys the same kind of respect for his/her task. Someone paid less or more doesnt provide a criteria for differing tone of your voice. One of the guys who recently moved to one of the portfolios hasnt handled anyone under him so he is very conscious of doing things his way and everything has to run through him. Afaid of discussing the loopholes, he is trying to paint a rosy picture of the business. He will tell his subordintes also to be quite and not to discuss any issues outside. The result will be that one day the level of his team's frustration will rise to an extent that it will lead to adverse results. People will just do their thing and leave. Enthusiasm will recede....

I think what keeps the person going at any place is the amount of satisfaction he gets. Openness to discuss issues, seek advice, train, amend mistakes and being supportive are some of the things that need to be practised. Sharing knowledge with each other is the best way to learn without having to experience it by oneself. Recently when i shared knowledge on one of the concepts i worked upon in the past, gave me immense pleasure. My day was made when i finshed the presentation after going on for more than 2 hours.
So, circle of happiness, circle of satisfaction, circle of knowladge and all kinds of circles around us will need to be widened by putting in the right kind of ingredients.

I could never forgot what my manager told me when i told me that i disliked one of the persons i work with...
He said, "Everybody's working for the good of the company, what we may differ on is the thimking, the implementation, the tone of the voice....but end goal is the same!". Since that day i have become so tolerant of different behaviours and whenever i get into suvh situations...i remind myself... "Its the way he is, means no harm"
My circle just got widened !

My Life's Mantra - Be positive and don't panic

Easier wrote than practiced is the thought that came to my mind when i was writing the title. After having gone throught the troughs and peaks of time, i can only say that there will always be something unpredictable, unforeseen, distateful which might happen in your life. What we need to understand is how to come out of the bad patch without causing too much damage to oneself. On a personal note, i have always tried to be positive at each point and realised that each beating, each argument brings in a new learning and provides a new direction. A direction to move ahead, to achieve what we have set out for and cherish the times or the journey till the end. When i shifted from commerce to IT, it was obvious that its not gonna be busy for someone who at that point didnt know what was coding or what is C, C++. Didn't have a choice at that time. Began to understand the basic of IT world and slowly and slowly tried to grasp whatever i could. At the end of the year, ours was the highly rated project thanks to two of the best developers of our class. I was never scared of the presentations e had to make during the course. I believe that was the only part i ever enjoyed. Confidence and positive attitude is what i had at all times to sail throught he good and bad times. Whenever i was down or felt life couldnt be any more worse, my parents hardwork and their belief in me helped me cheer up and get going. I am a calm person by nature or it may be something i have turned myself into. I can remember only two or three occassions when i was angry at someone and got into argument. Now, working in crisis mangement for around a year, i believe that quality has really helped. Now, to everything in life there is a continuity plan or recovery strategy.
Points to remember:
- Life is simple, keep it that way
- Look at the problems obejectively and think of solutions
- Think ahead and keep dreaming
- Share your thoughts with someone to get a outside view
- One's life is most important than anything around oneself

Inroduction to Myself

Hi
I was born in Chandigarh at Sec 21 during the prime time slot. Parents named me Dhiraj which means patience and that is one thing i have in abundance for most of the things. Spent more than 20 years in chandigarh on schooling and graduation. Met some very nice people in school and graduatiuon. It was a shocker of a group in college as none of the people in our group indulged in fag or alcohol...After grads, moved to pune for postgrads.....a commerce guy moving to IT...a complete change of skills...this is the time when i boarded train for the first time...my mom cried for me for the first time and second....
Post grads was an experience in itself. Aways from the eyes of parents, living with two more individuals from different parts of the country. I still remember my foundation year in which we were 4 guys and there were 9 girls....each one having a unique personality. Made best of friends among guys and not so best of friends among the opposite side....
During the second and final year, met one of the best persons i would always admire for lifetime. Person had a problem in decision making but i think no one is perfect and we all have the right to make mistakes.
Got placed pretty early and joined M&M consulting arm. Took a dip into the world of information security. Roamed around different cities, imparting training on infosec. Just when you think the things would not change, i got the opportunity to be a BCM(business continuity management) person. Fouund this to be a more interesting and challenging field. Crisis management became a routine activity.
Enjoyed my stay in both Mumbai and Bangalore. Both have different lifestyles, weather, demography, etc. I loved Bangalore more because of weather. One can just sit in balcony for hours together and converse.
If there is one thing that didn't change and has been consistently a part of my life for the last few years, its a feeling which kept burning like a candle all throughout.